To be completely honest, I forgot I even had this blog. I had to create it for a class in school so my TA could easily view all of my assignments in one place (hence the posts from two years ago that are really random).
Recently, a friend of mine said something profound to me. "Just get your words out there. It's a good feeling knowing that people can read them and relate to you." It was that one thing that inspired me to start writing again.
It's always been hard for me to express myself to people, let alone write about how I feel. I've been fucked over and fucked with so many times, my emotions have really taken a beating over the years. So, it's understandable that I have a hesitance to put my thoughts and feelings on the internet. But, sometimes getting it all out is the best medicine. I should know this by now, and yet I still tend to keep my emotions bottled up inside me. I guess now is as good a time as any to let some go, because as they say, better late than never.
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The other day, I decided to go through some photos on my computer. I got to my album from London, and this strange feeling came over me--the urge to just go back. I hadn't felt this way in months. I guess I had just suppressed it for so long because I knew that going back wasn't really a viable option for me at the time. I needed Philadelphia. I needed Temple. I needed my friends. Yet, in that one, singular moment, seeing all the pictures I had taken, everything in my body screamed at me to get out of here and go back across the pond.
The almost 6 weeks I spent in London were some of the best times I've ever had. I became a part of another culture. Being a tourist myself, I was honored when I had to help a family find their way to a museum from the tube stop right outside my flat. I was honored when I would walk down the street and people weren't turning their heads to look at the way I was dressed, or scoffed at my American accent. I loved being able to walk up the street, sit in the park, and just listen to music while the day passed me by.
Here, now, I feel constrained...by everyone and everything. I have so much left to do here in Philadelphia, yet I can see my time dwindling away. Every day that passes is another day closer to being thrust into the real world...and frankly, I'm not fucking ready for that. I can't fathom leaving my friends behind. They all mean the world to me, and I can't wait til I have them all in front of me to tell them so.
Philadelphia, you will always be my second home. But London, you kept a piece of me at Manson Place, Flat 19 when I left, and I'll be damned if I can't come back to give you more.
1 comments:
Loved it! See, I told you it's not that hard :) I look forward to reading more from youuu :D
-Kristen
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