sitting out on my front steps in the sun has really made me think about the love/hate relationship i have with this upcoming summer.
of course, the giant gorilla in the back of the room is graduation. Now, more than ever, the feeling that everything is coming to an end is hitting me. Frankly, I'm terrified. I can sit back and take a look at my life right now, and know full well that I can't cut it in the real world. Yes, I have the desire to go out and be somebody. But, the fact that in 6 short weeks, I'm going to actually have to do it scares the hell out of me.
I've had a pretty up and down semester (to say it tamely), and that hasn't helped things either. Those of you that read this and are of some actual importance to me know what I mean, and you've been there for me through the best and worst of it. For that, I can't begin to express my gratitude. You all put up with my shit so much, and I've never been able to find a way to thank you all. Just know that even if I don't show it, I really do value everything you guys do for me. Without you all, I probably would be in a mental hospital somewhere.
The sunshine always brings out the "I don't give a shit" attitude in me. I can't bear to sit in class on days like today. All I want to do is the things that make me happy--listen to music and be with my friends. Yeah, texting someone who makes you smile is great and all, but it doesn't really do much justice to actually spending time with that person. Pretty soon, I don't know what will happen. I might be leaving here for greener pastures. I might be leaving here for the Big Apple. Hell, I might not go anywhere. But for now, let me have my fun in the sun. I'm gonna make the most of what I have, don't doubt me on that.
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